directile dysfunction...

"why did God put Man on earth ??"
"cos a vibrator cannot mow a lawn".. ha ha ha.!(ok that was crass.!)
the real reason :: he knew that if Man was given the destination(Earth) he would screw it all up by reaching Pluto.. Men never ask for directions.!! so God decided to personally place Man on mother earth.! (ok now tht wasn't funny either.!) .. hmm ,funny is definitely not my middle name.!
its true that Guys have an intelligence(when it comes to roads n directions!) as big as an electron and if you happen to bump into a guy who is driving around in circles ,confusion writ all over his face, he's definitely lost his way n yes he will not stop by to ask for directions!

i thought back on numerous occassions i guided one screwball or the other(much to their repulsion) and saved them from becoming another missing poster in the newspaper and on tree barks..

few days back we were to attend a friends wedding reception in JP Nagar...we vroomed off to the venue on bikes n somewhere past diary circle we lost our way... the horror of all the food being devoured by the other guests was freaking me out but my friend Mr.Disoriented Dude(MDD) failed to sympathise.. jezzz,guys can be a real pain in the wrong place,it can be an even bigger hassle if u are wit guys who walks around wit an ego as small as Jupiter.! shucks .! if-i-ask-a-passerby-for-the-exact-location-i'll-be-committing-the-biggest-sin-recordable seems to be every guys motto.!

MDD :: "i think we need to take a right near tht Bannergatta signal"

Me :: "errr..! why don't we stop n ask that auto driver,im sure he'll be able to guide us"

MDD :: "i don't think he would know,im sure the route i'm thinking off is the right one"

Me :: "ahem...! we went past that Pan-Walla shop thrice already.!"

MDD (one more word from ur mouth and i'll smidge u down look):: "grrr..!"

we reached the venue well past the stipulated time.. few dried up pieces of gobi manchurian,ice-cream that met a watery-grave and sweepers n cleaners instead of ostentatious guests.! sigh!

last week two colleagues of mine decided to flex their limbs with a few badminton smashes at Chinnaswamy Stadium..putting on the navigators suite i had to guide Mr.Lost Lad(MLL) and his friend to the venue ,but alas it turned out to be one horrendous experience..!

Mr.Lost Lad (MLL) :: "hey im near corporation,how do we proceed??"

Ms.Navigator (MN) :: "take a left near that aeroplane model n keep going down the road till u hit Gate No.1"

*after 10 mins*

MLL :: "hey im at gate No.7,how do i get to gate No.1??"

MN :: " i'm coming out,just hold on..!" *puff,pant,puff* (damn need to build stamina) ,"ok im outside gate No.7,come out n u can spot me.!"

MLL :: "hold on we'll park our bikes n be there in a jiffy.!"
*after wht seemed like eternity*

MLL :: "hey where are u.??,we outside Gate No.7"

MN :: "ok do something,dnt turn left,turn turn right just walk straight u'll spot Gate No.1.. this place is right next to the Anil Kumble circle.."

*realizations finally dawns*

MLL :: "errr.. is it chinnaswamy stadium or kanteerva stadium ??"

MN (thinking of the choicest expletives):: "$#%^ , %^##, ^$#@"

how many roads must a man drive down before he admits he is lost,
why when he gets married is he able to find his pair of socks!
the answer my friends i cannot comprehend, the answer i cannot comprehend!

sooo many lost MEN ,but soo little ASPIRIN (ok peoples accept it,tht line was funny in'it.!)