and thus we wed..!!

leelamma aunty ponders over the dowry, looks at her husband,a rather quaint man and smirks. they had expected the prospective groom and family to quote a more pocket-size amount, after all her daughter minumole "is" a BSc ,MSc and a BEd(thrown in as an afterthought,which resulted in the poor girl experiencing one more year of drudgery under the hands of Sister Susan of XYZ college!)... minumole's turmoil has just begun..

these days girls in Malluland dnt go thru the olde worlde tradition of gathering up degrees,sitting thru a pennau kannal (girl watching!) etc thanks to shaadi.com and the likes ,but it had its own fun moments for us cousins who ve witnessed many such visits and who silently thank our stars that it is almost nonextant.!

pennau kannal normally starts when girls hits 20.. she is paraded around in silk sarees(now if her Appachan is a Gulf returnee then designer ones rule the roost.!) and the degrees against her name are chanted in one single breath lest the listener miss out the B's and M's that make up her credentials..the girl walks around with a copious amount of Cuticura Talc Powder dusted on her face.. u see we mallu's believe is the adage "the fairer the better/prettier/economical etc etc".. the whiff of its fragrance following her every step.. now the problem with Cuticura Talc is it cakes thanks to the humid weather in kerala so the humble karchief doubles up as a mini powder case..Ammachi's of Bijumon(BTech) from US, Shiju(MBBS) from UK, Babu from Dubai and on rare occasions Jomon from Irinjalakuda (my hometown..!) keep a watchful eye in pallis(church) and marriage pandals to see if there are any potentials roaming around..! once the bait is found the ceremony begins.. a broker,normally a bespectacled man in white mundu-shirt sets up the meeting between the two families... now this happens after the tharavad parre(family name) is analyzed , secret spies(normally cousins ,chin-wagging aunts and helpful neighbours) gather all possible info about the family in question and endless rounds of chayya and biscuit meetings with all possible combination of relatives over the dowry to be given and gold to be purchased is done.!

:: orapikalle .. ok in Bush land they call it meet the in-laws!!
the grooms mother recites the customary "Our father" and "10 Hail mary" and the whole clan(mother,father,sister,brother,Sheela Aunty, Jibbymon, Ammama ,Mathai uncle etc etc) squeeze into 3-4 white ambassadors(washed and polished) and set out to meet the in-laws.. chai,biscuit ,acchapam,koylapam,unniappam, and assorted biscuits from Jijo Bakery bedeck the dinning table.. the prospective bride sits decked up in gold and steal glances at the groom.. the provoked groom who sits like a constipated humming bird asks stupid questions like peera enthae??(whats your name) #$%#! ladies sit around the dinning table and chat, the younger ones prance around with mouthful of biscuits,men sit on the verandha discussing the harvest and weather and they part ways with the dates of the wedding and dowry amount fixed..! much gossiping follows after that.. "did you see that gold chain Bency Chechi had around her neck?? easily 10 pavan " , "Jose Chetan's son is working in Florida,BTech,good alliance for Rosemol" blah blah.!

:: kalyanam (wedding!)
"all that glitters is indeed gold".. Allukas jewellers, Kalyan Silks and Shooby Studio make good business during weddings.. chicken olathiyathae,pork curry,fish fry, duck roast,chemmen fry all cooked with fat and oil and ghee..enough to clog the drains of Kengeri.. humid climate and the masalas in curries and the oil drenched chicken,not a really great combination i must say..! all this washed down by whiskey/rum/brandy... that explins why we mallu's don't die of cholestrol. you see the drinks melt out all the fat taken in with tht chicken leg..!

footnote :: othala gang this is for you guys,the discussion we had yday in cafeteria got me thinking..! u need to see it to believe it ,but this whole wedding tradition is fast fading .. sigh!! think soon it will all become a memory.. othala now your turn to write about shetty weddings..!