Meliorating spectator fervour

My friends claim it to be the most dramatic climaxes to the Formula One season. The Brazilian grand Prix saw Kimi snatch away the championship from favourite Hamilton who eroded right from the start. I logged onto the g-talk today morning and saw a plethora of status msgs like “Go KIMI”, ”Kimi yeah, Dig it alonso”, ”Kult Kimi Konquers yet again” and pure simple plain ones like “Kimi!!” (some ppl even wrote that in a mix of upper n lower case). Its pretty obvious that a lotta of my friends follow F1, and to get along with them you have to learn how to talk F1. To me, these phrases may not have a lotta meat on them but an average 20 year something guy can use them to keep a conversation going for hours.Phew! So I was hooked last night watching the Brazilian Grand Prix trying to figure out the Driver Standing, Consturctor Standing, funda behind Compound tyres blah blah for the pure sweet simple reason;I could activley participate in the F1 discussions! So much for being ‘cool’ I say. As I saw the sleak, shiny, colorful machines go round and round with that annoying mosquito-buzz like sound I thought, they can turn this mundane boring sport into a truly exciting, dangerous and audience-grabbing one by adding some view-excitement. We could achieve this by diggin up deep pits(slightly bigger than the cars) at unmarked locations, so everytime the driver takes a turn he would have to swerve his machine to avoid fallin into the pit. This would result in a lot more collisions and ‘pit-falls’! woo! We could extend this concept by spilling some super slippery oil or grease, also at unmarked locations which would send the cars flying in different direction. Yeah baby now we talking Sports! They sure to rake in millions! Why do we have to stop this view-excitement concept to F1 alone, we could extend this to other sports also. Read on..
Golf
Yawnn! Few sports are as dull as professional golf.Any imbecile in his right state of mind wouldn’t spend precious time watching this but when a beehive is placed right above the flight of the ball, it demands a more flawless swing on the part of the golfer and boy! lets not even get to the exhilaration part of it. We could make it even more challenging by placin a deadly hornets nest right beside the hole, this simple handicap will attract even greater violence and tragedy loving fans will sure be screaming for more.

Sking
Come winter olympics and all you get to see is sking, sking and more sking. Currently all that the professional skiers do is lazily wind down the hill bending and turning and bumping. Simply chaining hungry lions and tigers and grizzly bears to each flag will demand more precision and greater challenge from the sportsmen. Woohoo!

Volleyball
A game that mainly consists of jumping, smashing and hitting some really fast balls that any sensible person cannot return back makes volleyball a big “So what?”, but placing some really sharp barbed wires above the net will turn a simple foul into something really foul. Sponsors bank accounts will turn green as the sand soaks in all that red!

Shooting
Concentration, silence and no movement, a game like this can put you to sleep inadvertently, but don’t loose heart brother we could spice it up with some bikini-clad babes doing the honour of holding the dart boards. We could also make the boards reboundable so if the arrow doesn’t pierce through the eye it would revert back towards the shooter. Viewers will sure pony up big bucks to watch it!

Basketball
Ok lets not touch this game cos its excting enough. What with all the rebounds, cheerleaders, 7foot tall dunkers and cuttie-pie Tony!